This story originally aired on Hyperfixed.

One day, Ethan had an unfortunate bathroom incident. Then, he found an entire collection of songs online with his name in the title… and they all seemed to be about that embarrassing moment. That experience sent Ethan and his sister down a bizarre rabbit hole involving AI music, lots of poop jokes, and possibly the world’s most prolific songwriter. This story comes from the Hyperfixed podcast.

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View Transcript ▶︎

[dramatic sting]

Disclaimer: Warning! This episode contains juvenile poop jokes, and over the top fart noises. Listener discretion is advised.

[dramatic sting]

[20K Sonic Logo]

[music in: Wesley Slover - Champaign Showcase]

Think about the most embarrassing moment in your adult life. Now imagine finding a bunch of songs online with your name in the title… And the lyrics all reference the embarrassing thing that happened to you. If it were me, I would question my sanity.

But for one New Yorker, that’s exactly what happened. And it led him and his sister down a rabbit hole that involved AI music, lots of poop jokes, and arguably the world’s most prolific songwriter.

This story comes from one of my very favorite podcasts. It’s called Hyperfixed, and it’s hosted by Alex Goldman. Here’s Alex.

[music out]

[music in]

So a few months ago, Hyperfixed Producer Amor Yates sat down with a listener who is no stranger to bad internet.

Amor: Oh, wait, wait. Here she is again. Hi.

Manon: Hi. Okay, I'm back. Is it better now?

Amor: I can see you and I can hear you.

Manon: Okay, that’s great progress [laughs]

This is Manon. She’s half French, half American. And she’s a journalist currently based in Liberia in West Africa. Manon finds a lot of meaning in her work. But she's always far away from family. And that’s what she always expected…

Manon: We knew that we were probably not gonna be in the same country as our parents because we knew that our careers were probably not gonna end up in the same place as our parents were.

Amor: Yeah, when did you realize that that was, that was like a foreseeable outcome?

Manon: Probably middle school.

Amor: That’s so young!

Growing up, Manon and her little brother, Ethan, moved around the world like The Wild Thornberrys.

[music out]

Except their parents weren’t documentary filmmakers and they did not adopt a feral child named Donnie. Instead, their dad’s a biogeochemist. And his research took him around the world to study climate change, forestry and soil.

So by the time that Manon was 18, she’d lived in Kenya, Indonesia, the US, and Brazil. And moving so frequently like that, Manon and Ethan built an unbreakable bond.

Manon: You're going to a lot of places where you don't know other people. and so in those initial days before you start making friends, it feels a little safer to have your sibling there at school with you.

Manon: We can understand each other, and each other's experience 'cause we share so much of it in ways that, like, other people can't.

Like the time when Ethan rocked a very specific 14-year-old haircut.

Manon: We were living in Indonesia at the time. He had the… the droopy like side hair thing that Justin Bieber had, and packs of young girls, maybe high school aged girls would want to take photos with him. And my whole family would tease him about it. It was happening all the time that people were like, “Oh, Justin Bieber! Justin Bieber!” And he didn't like it. Ethan was like more into metal music at that age.

These days, Ethan is living in New York City with his girlfriend, Rachael. And Manon and Ethan are used to the distance. They’ve basically created their own language. Every day, sometimes every other day, sometimes once a week — Manon and Ethan will send each other animal memes, or the occasional poop and fart joke, because, you know, that’s the humor they grew up with…

Manon: …I mean, in the family in general, we always have like, if someone's mentioning that they're going to the bathroom, the joke is usually like, “don't fall in” or “mention my name, you'll get a good seat.”

See, why can’t I have a family like this? Ugh, I’m so jealous. Anyway, bathroom jokes, dad jokes, general teasing — this is all part of their long distance sibling love language. And that kind of humor trickles into their daily lives even when they aren’t together.

In fact — The reason why Manon reached out to us in the first place is because of Ethan. And it all started with a prank that he pulled on a colleague.

Ethan: A couple months ago, the Spotify on our iPad at the bar went out and we couldn't, uh, get in contact immediately with the owner of the bar to get his login to re-log into the Spotify.

That’s Ethan. Before his sister reached out to us, he had never heard of Hyperfixed. He’s not much of a podcast person. Instead, he’s more interested in making craft cocktails at the whiskey bar he works at in the Upper East Side. And occasionally acting as the bar’s DJ.

Ethan: And as a prank, I decided to start looking up songs that had his name in the title and play them throughout his shift, hoping that he would just think something weird was going on with the Spotify.

And as Ethan is playing songs with his coworker’s name in them, his girlfriend, Rachael, who also works at the same bar — and is definitely sort of like a “yes and” kind of gal, and would never say no to a good bit — she does the same thing to Ethan.

She goes to Spotify, types in the name “Ethan, and selects a song with his name on it, and presses play.

Ethan: And for some reason, most songs that have my name in them uh, end up being about Ethan pooping his pants.

Manon: And um, well it's hilarious. Um, I don't think my brother's as amused as me and his girlfriend are, but we've had a lot of, um, fun with it.

Now, like any older sister, even one as accomplished and mature as Manon, these songs were hilarious. But it was even funnier, and more uncanny, because of something that happened to Ethan earlier this year.

So, Manon and her husband were visiting Ethan and his girlfriend in New York City, when one day…

Manon: We're just driving in New York City, I think we'd gone towards Rockaway Beach and, um we just stopped on the side. Like we were just hanging out, taking a walk, trying to find a trail to walk down, and then my brother had to, um, run to the bathroom and, uh—

Ethan: And you know, I’m maybe five six steps away from that restroom when it just happens and I, um…

He did exactly what you think he did. He pooped his pants.

Ethan tossed his soiled underwear in the trash in the public restroom. And when he was done… When he was done um… hiding the evidence and his shame. Ethan met back up with his family and girlfriend. But he didn’t tell them that he’d pooped his pants en route to the restroom, and that he’d gone commando because his soiled underwear was now sitting in a trash can in said restroom. No one was the wiser.

That is, until Ethan told Rachael what happened back at the house.

Manon: Rachael just announces Ethan pooped his pants and Ethan's like, “Rachael!” And she basically was like, “I had to tell them. They couldn't not know.” So we only found out once we got home.

So given everything you know about Ethan and Rachael and Manon, it will not surprise you to know that as soon as she found them, Rachael sent these songs to Manon. And Manon, predictably, started teasing Ethan with them. But she also had some more serious questions about who made these songs. I mean, she is a journalist after all.

Manon: I mean, is it a human? Is it AI? Maybe someone's finding a way to make money out of this, but even if they are, like, how does the decision making process happen is what I'm really curious about.

Manon: And then I think one thing that was weird to us as well is that one of the titles is like, “Poop your Pants or Go to France,” but we're half French and my parents live in France, so we were like, it's a coincidence, obviously, 'cause I don't think whoever made these songs knows my brother. But it's funny. It’s a funny…

Amor: So it, it almost feels like they're talking about your Ethan.

Manon: Right. Exactly, that's exactly what it is

As crazy as it sounds, for Manon, these songs feel personal. And she couldn’t shake this feeling that there was more to these innocuous poop songs. But as far as Ethan is concerned, he’s not too bothered by the existence of these songs. What he is bothered by is that there just aren't enough Ethan songs out there in the first place.

Ethan: Yeah, I mean, maybe, maybe the solution is actually to have more of those, like what else does Ethan do? You know?

All of Manon’s questions boiled down to … why? Why are these poop songs a thing? Why are there so many? Why do they exist? And why is someone compelled to make them in the first place?

And for Ethan, the songs serve as a reminder. A reminder that there aren’t enough Ethan songs. Because there is a lot more to Ethan than the time he pooped his pants at the beach. No matter how many times I remind you that he did poop his pants pretty recently,. Ethan is more than just the poop he left in the public restroom in Long Island.

Amor: Hey Alex.

Alex: Hi Amor

Amor: Okay, so I spoke to Manon and her questions were largely around like, why do these exist? But also, are these human, or are they AI?

Amor: Before we get started on this journey, um, I wanted to play these Ethan songs for you. Do you wanna hear them?

Alex: I absolutely do.

Amor: Okay. Um, I have them queued up here, so I'm gonna play the first one.

Alex: I cannot wait. I’m so excited.

Amor: Okay, here we go.

[Ethan Poop Song 1]

Alex: I gotta admit the the drum loop's kind of sick though.

Amor: Yeah, I like that: Dew, Dew, Dew…

Alex: Are there lyrics, or is it just farts?

Amor: Oh, there will be lyrics.

Music: You so bad, baby. You so bad, so bad.

Music: Hey, Ethan. You heard your stomach rumbling and then the poop came tumbling. You never stood a chance. You just pooped your pants.

Alex: I like the Autotune though. It kind of had like a… like a T-Pain vibe to it.

Amor: I'm gonna fade out of that, because it just, it's much of the same. But when you hear that, do you think it's AI?

Alex: I honestly cannot tell. I mean, I would think that AI would actually try to go for something that sounds more realistic. So like, that to me sounds like the decision of a human to use like a voice to that robotic, but also, the robotic voice gives me a little pause, you know what I mean?

Amor: Yeah. So that's by an artist called Poopz, with a Z. I'm gonna play another one for you.

Alex: Okay.

Music: Ethan. Ethan. Ethan. You smell like doodoo. Poopoo. Like a dumpster. Yuck.

Alex: I, I love the fact that…

Alex: That all these songs are like pop songs. They like just want people to dance and hear fart sounds.

Amor: Yeah.

Alex: Honestly, that one also, like, it has too much humanity, like too much stupid humanity to it to feel like Ai to me, it feels like a… like a person being silly.

Amor: What does stupid humanity sound like to you versus AI?

Alex: When you create a song that's AI, it's meant to sound like real music, like good music. And this, to me, sounds like a person just having fun, like the way that the voice has kind of slowed down and stuff. Like AI's getting served a billion songs and then it's supposed to regurgitate something that sounds like the sort of aggregate of those songs, rather than something that's intentionally bizarre.

Amor: Mm-hmm. So on the spectrum of AI to human, you're leaning towards human.

Alex: Yes. I have a hunch that these songs are made by people, but I truly have no idea.

Amor: Okay, this is another artist, called Super Poop.

Alex: Every one of these starts with a fart sound, it’s so stupid.

Amor: The fart is a very powerful musical instrument. Manmade.

Music: Hey Ethan. If you don't stop pooping in your pants, we're gonna make you move to France. Pack your bags and buy a beret. When you go away, we'll all say, “hooray.” Poopy pants are a felony. We don't want a smellony.

Alex: “A smellony!” See, that can't be AI, because AI would never come up with a word like “smellony.” I just don't believe it. I just can't believe that being the case.

Amor: Um, okay, so to you, this sounds human.

Alex: Yeah. Uh, yes. I would say the word “smellony” is a dead giveaway, unless you were like, “compose a, a song about Ethan farting or pooping with trap beats and, like Lewis Carroll style rhymes” because, you know, Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland, he used to make up a lot of gibberish words and stuff. It just doesn't seem like this could be AI.

Amor: Okay. So that was Super Poops, ”Ethan Smells like a Llama,” parentheses, “Ethan Poop.” Okay, so one of the other things that Manon was wondering was if any of these artists had like a secret vendetta against Ethan. Because obviously, there are several “Ethan Poop” songs. But I don’t think there is any vendetta against her Ethan, or any Ethan for that matter, and that’s because all of these artists are making songs with other people's names in them.

Amor: So Poopz, who I played for you first has lots of songs like this. He has “Andy Pooped His Pants, “Aaron Pooped His Pants,” and “Alex Pooped His Pants Again.”

Alex: Oh! Okay.

Amor: That's also the case with Reckless Otter. Um, Reckless Otter has a whole album called Cowboy Farter that uses 50 different names. And the other thing that Manon was particularly struck with is this fact that these poop songs seem to have kind of like an uncanny resemblance to her brother's poop experience.

Amor: And also the fact that one of these songs makes mention to France, and Ethan is French. But I think it's pretty clear that France is mentioned because it rhymes with “pants.”

Alex: That's right.

Amor: Yeah. But the thing that I was hoping was instead of just playing these songs for you and asking you if you think they’re AI, is to see if there’s some way to truly determine whether or not they are. And so that's the thing we need to figure out first. So, I don't know, Alex, do you have any ideas on how we can figure this out?

Alex: Okay, believe it or not, I know exactly the person to answer this question.

Benn: It seems like it's a magic trick when you first type in a prompt and then a song is made. And it is. It’s a pretty rad magic trick.

This is Benn Jordan. He’s a musician, a freelance scientist, and a YouTuber. And a lot of his videos are based on his research and study of sound. And, you know, as a musician himself, Benn thinks a lot about the role of AI in music.

And to some degree he’s right, AI is a magic trick. One that’s constantly getting better, and has gotten so good, that it’s harder than ever to figure out what’s AI and what isn’t. And if I can show my hand a little bit, I am not a fan of AI-generated art of any kind. And the reason I think that it’s important that we know what’s AI and what is made by people, is because AI songs are growing in popularity and volume.

And if human artists have to compete with AI, which can generate music at an alarmingly rapid rate, how are listeners supposed to know what’s human or what’s not if the streaming platforms won’t label it?

A good example of this is an AI band that went viral earlier this year called Velvet Sundown. They put out two albums right away, and then a third album within three weeks, and quickly got 1 million streams on Spotify. It only came out that they were actually AI when they released a band photo, and the band looked kind of fake. Sorta like cartoon characters. Not very realistically rendered.

But what’s even scarier than the writing speed of an AI band like Velvet Sundown is what happens when AI is training on your sound. And that’s exactly what happened to Benn when he typed his own name into an AI music generator.

Benn: The thing that kind of made steam come outta my ears with, with AI music was not so much knowing that my music was no so much knowing that my music was being put into the pool things that were being trained in general.

Benn: Like if somebody types in a prompt that says, you know, “glitchy break core,” and if some of my stuff is in there, I don't care. But I did have the misfortune of inputting my own name into Udio and then hearing really crappy music that sounds like it's inspired my mine, which is, mmm.

Benn: And now it's being, you know, that's being sold as a service, while my royalties go down on streaming networks every single year and… and all these things are now being put up on those streaming networks to compete with me. So economically, as an artist, I'm just like, “Well, I, I don't need to do, I'm just not gonna do this anymore.” Like, and I just stopped releasing music for a while because I was kind of fed up with it.

AI doesn’t live in the world that we live in. It doesn’t have groceries, car payments, rent, or aging parents. It doesn’t need the money that Benn needs when he handcrafts a song and releases it into the world. Benn gets paid when people push play on his music. But if people are pushing play on a song that sounds like Benn, because it was inspired by him, Benn doesn’t get any of that money.

And right now, the companies who are distributing the music aren’t empowering consumers to decide who they want to support with their click. A three dimensional man, or a program that was trained on songs made by that three dimensional man. But that’s way easier said than done. Because according to Benn, an AI program like Udio (the one he typed his name into) or another one you might be familiar with, Suno –

Benn: Everything that's going on inside of it is a black box.

And that’s because no one really knows how AI comes to its conclusions. Even the people who make AI aren’t sure what’s going on in AI. For instance, about 7 years ago, Google used an AI to scan medical records to help predict patients' future diseases and when they might die.

Benn: They were able to figure out with some high degree of accuracy that was really, really insane. And of course, doctors were like, “Okay, well how did it figure this out? What's the underlying cause we could actually solve a lot of these problems for these patients?” And they're like, “Oh yeah, sorry. It's just ones and zeros. We have no idea.”

Alex: That’s so crazy!

Benn: Yeah.

Okay, so AI is this impenetrable black box. No one does what it does or why. But despite this black box problem, Benn has figured out a way to identify songs with reasonable accuracy. And in order to understand how, I’m gonna need you to take a little detour with me.

[music in]

Ok. So when song files are uploaded to Spotify, they are compressed. That means that they try to make the song sound as good as possible while making the file as small as possible, so they aren’t sending massive amounts of data over the internet every time you want to listen to Andrew Lloyd Webber or whatever.

And the engineers at your favorite music streaming platform have gotten VERY good at this. They have managed to compress files to about 1/7 to 1/10 the size they would be if they were uncompressed.

And you’d think that in losing all that data, you’d lose a lot of the sound quality, because with an audio file, the data is sound. But they have figured out ways to discard just the imperceptible audio that is hard to detect with the human ear anyway.

Anyhow, the point of this explanation is that when files are compressed, the compression leaves traces of that process in the data of the audio file. And the point I am trying to make here, albeit in pretty broad terms, because this stuff is very complicated, way more complicated than I could comprehend, is that this compression process is how Benn found a way to recognize an AI song.

Because these AI music sites, like Suno and Udio, they’re being trained on these compressed versions of songs. And when Benn realized this, he had his “Eureka” moment.

Benn: What if we just look for that to see if there's a bunch of these artifacts that are in this music, because that was in the original training data.

Once Benn figured this out, everything came together very quickly. He designed his own AI model that could analyze songs, and recognize files created by Suno based solely on the compression patterns of data in the audio file – something a human ear simply couldn’t do with any real level of certainty.

Benn: That's because our human ear is not a very good scientific measuring device. It’s… It's something that is interpreted by our brains. Our human ear is just turning pressure waves into sounds in our brains, so it's very subjective. And so, I mean, that's why when you're creeped out, you start hearing all these weird sounds in the house, you know, when you wouldn't be hearing 'em otherwise.

So of course, I sent Benn all of the Ethan Pooped songs that Manon asked us about.

Alex: Did any of them ping as AI?

Benn: Yep. so, three out the four are not AI. And “Ethan Smells like a Llama (Ethan Poop),” uh, that one was made on Suno.

Alex: You know what is so funny to me? I listened to all of these songs.

Benn: Uh huh.

Alex: I'll be, I'll be, and this, I, I think this is an, an indictment of my taste in music maybe. The only one that I was like, “This is not terrible” was the “Smells Like a Llama” song. I was like, “This isn’t awful.”

Benn: Yeah.

Alex: The rest of them were really like discordant in a way that I was like, “Well, it’s very reasonable that this could be fake, or AI. So to confirm, Poopz and Reckless Otter are human. And Super Poops, the person who did the song that's “Ethan Smells like a Llama,” that is AI.

Benn: Yes. Yeah.

Alex: Okay.

So, the one song that I liked. The one that I thought was like too good to be AI, because it used the word “smellony,” which I thought was peak fart songwriting – ended up being the only song that pinged as AI in Benn’s model. And I think that’s a testament to how good AI’s gotten.

Shortly after we chatted with Benn, Spotify announced that they will start labeling AI music. And that they will account for songs that are partially made by humans and AI. Which is great news for artists and consumers to finally have this level of transparency going forward.

And now that I know most of these artists are, in fact, human. I need to cop to something. Because back when Amor played me the Ethan Poop songs, there was one song that she played me by an artist I was already very familiar with.

Amor: Okay, Alex? Um, I have another song to play for you. This is another Ethan Poop song that Manon sent us.

Music: Ethan, Ethan, Ethan…

Alex: Okay, well this is definitely not AI.

Music: Poop poop poop poop poop.

Alex: Uh, okay. So I actually know the guy who wrote this song. Um… one of the first radio stories that I ever did was about this guy.

Amor: Oh my god.

After the break, the man behind the music.

MIDROLL

Welcome back to this show. So this week, Hyperfixed Listener Manon reached out to us to investigate all these Ethan Poop songs on streaming services. And more than anything, she just wanted to know why they existed. And fortunately for her, I knew the answer to that right away, and it’s entirely because of this guy.

Alex: Are you, you’re recording on your end? Are you rolling?

Matt: We’re rolling on my end.

I’ve been friends with Matt for over a decade. He’s the kind of friend that I text about horror movies, and you know, about his music. And he’s the most prolific songwriter on Earth, as far as I know. And by that, I mean, he’s written and published on Spotify over 26,000 songs.

Throughout my career, I have brought Matt in several times on projects I’ve been working on. Mostly because the number of songs he's written isn’t even the most interesting thing about him.

For example, he’s never uttered a curse word. He didn't have his first burger until he was in his forties. He is a fan of taking very long walks, sometimes dozens of miles. In fact, he used to have a newsletter about his walks, of which I was an eager recipient.

And if you’re just curious about him and wanna give him a call, well you’re in luck, because not only does he have his phone number in his Twitter bio, he frequently puts it at the end of songs. And if you call him, he will pick up. And if he misses your call, he’ll call you back.

But the thing that he’s become famous for is his music, especially the rate at which he produces songs.

Matt: It was always my instinct to write tons of songs. And then at some point, amidst my lack of success, I kind of was like, “You know what? I'm just gonna make so much music that they can't ignore me.” You know?

Matt: And so it feels good. I want more praise. I want more glory, you know? When I walk down the street, I'm looking around and being like, “Do you people know who I am?” You know, I'm saying that in my head, but I'd like to be mobbed by fans, stuff like that.

Matt hasn’t been mobbed by fans in real life. But last fall, he did experience the online equivalent of a mob when he went viral on TikTok for his poop songs. Because, as it turns out, people like poop songs. And they like songs with their names in them.

You see, while Matt writes songs about all kinds of stuff, he has found that people look for songs about stuff they like, or find funny, or just have their name in them. So he has albums worth of songs about celebrities, for example. He recorded an album for every state in the US under the name The Guy Who Sings about Cities and Towns. And as every parent knows, the first thing a kid does when faced with a computer prompt, is to search the word “poop.”

So, when people on TikTok started to notice that if they typed their name and the word “poop,” depending on how popular their name was, they could find a song that included their name and “poop.”

[Matt poop song montage]

And while it might seem weird that people are actually listening to these poop songs, the fact that we’re sitting here talking about them is proof that they work.

Matt: Because they went viral, I was getting message after message from people saying, “You haven't done my name.” And so I have about 1,200 names on a list that I'm just trying to slowly, uh…

Alex: Does it ever start to feel like a slog, or is it always a delight to crank out another poop poop name song?

Matt: Oh, no, no. It's a slog. Everything. I mean, um… I'm sure you feel the same way, too. You love being a podcaster, but it's that like getting the momentum, getting yourself off the couch, you know, getting yourself psyched up for it. But it's the same thing with like a marathon runner.

Matt: Like marathon runners, most of 'em, they don't always love running. They don't always love training, but they love accomplishing the marathon and so they have to fight through the times when they don't wanna do it.

And Matt is just really good at fighting through it. Time and again, he gets off his couch, sits at his keyboard, and makes his way through the list of names he’s got to write about. So the day he wrote the Ethan Poop song was like any other day. No vendetta. No AI. No secret portal into Ethan’s life. Just a man with a consistent process.

Matt: It's not like… people think I do like market research or something and like, I don't even know how to do market research. I just think, “Oh, wouldn't it be funny if I put out an album about this or that?” Then I do it. And if I notice one thing's doing real well, I might do more in that direction.

Alex: So, I don't know how you feel about talking about financials, but like how much does one song make for you? Or is it, does it vary wildly because different songs have different popularity?

Matt: Yeah, it varies wildly. You know, one song in a year could earn 5,000 plus, and then many songs in a year earn 5 cents minus.

Alex: “5 cents minus.” Those are the songs that get no plays and they just cost a lot to put up.

Matt: Um, oh, no, no, no, no. I was just when, when you say “five thousand plus,” it means “5,000 and above.” Then I was saying “five cents minus,” meaning “five cents or less.”

Alex: Oh.

Matt: Not neg—not negative. I, I, I think I just, I invented a new phrase, like people say like, “I'm making 10,000 plus,” right? But do they ever say like, “I'm make making $5 minus ?”

Alex: No. No one’s… You have invented a new phrase. No wonder I was so confused.

Matt: This is, um… they're gonna trace it back, when it enters the vernacular, they're gonna trace it back to this episode.

Alex: I know. That's great. That—finally I'll be on Wikipedia.

Can you believe this guy? He’s inventing whole new business models with streaming audio, and just throwing out phrases we’re all probably gonna be using in six months.

I told Matt that Ethan’s sister, Manon, wanted to know why these Ethan Poop songs were so popular, and why were all these other artists writing them, too.

Alex: There are artists like the named Poopz, Reckless Otter, Super Poop. And then you.

Matt: It's all my fault, by the way, that these other ones have sprung up. I'm pretty sure.

Alex: Can you elaborate?

Matt: Yeah. Well, let's see. When did Poops, I, I, I'm just looking up poops for the first time. You know, when did Poops start releasing music. And it’s like…

Alex: It is Poops with a Z by the way.

Matt: Oh yeah, I see it. 2023, you know? And it was definitely, I was at the forefront of the Name Poop Trend. Um, but yeah. It's that. And all respect to Poopz, get out there. I don't own the rights to singing names and poops and umm, “may the best name poop song win” is what I say.

Alex: Um, have you heard of any of these artists? Do you have like a… a stiff competitor in the poop song field that you think of as like your poop song rival.

Matt: No, no. I mean, I see it here and there, but umm, I just stay in my lane, do my thing. And I don't want to get petty, but I do sometimes feel there's a lack of like, humanity to a lot of the other people's name poop songs where it sounds very… very robotic. Whereas I think mine sound very full of life in that it's an actual person singing the words. You know what I mean? I like mine better.

I know I am biased, but of all the Ethan poop songs, I think I like Matt’s best, too.

So by this point, I felt confident that we had all the answers to Manon’s questions. But Ethan did have one request. If you remember, it was clear that he wasn’t upset by all these poop songs about him, but he was disappointed that they all represented him so narrowly…

Ethan: Yeah, I mean, maybe, maybe the solution is actually to have more of those, like what else does Ethan do? You know?

So I wanted to give Ethan one more song that, unlike the others, was really meant for him. And didn’t include any mention of poop. So I asked Matt if he could write a new song for Ethan. And fortunately, Matt was sympathetic.

Matt: Poor Ethan.

Also, even if he wasn’t, I have him on record saying:

Matt: I’ll do anything for you.

Matt: Hey, can I release this on Spotify Um, when it's done? That would be kind of fun. Huh?

A month later, Matt sent us the new Ethan song that had nothing to do with poop, but had everything to do with Ethan… So on one summer day, on the upper east side of Manhattan, in the same whiskey bar where Ethan and his girlfriend Rachael work — it made its world premier.

Rachael: Oh, this is the Ethan… This is the song for Ethan. Yeah you Ethan! Yeah you!

Ethan: What is this?

[transitions to the MATT’S ETHAN SONG]

Music: Yeah Ethan, you’re so great. And you make people smile. Yeah Ethan you’re a genius of flavor profile at Caladonia, people wait for ya..

And while Ethan and Rachael listen to Matt’s new Ethan song in New York City… in Liberia, Manon and her husband listen, too.

Manon: I love it. I love it so much. I just like that part, like, “I'm gonna get even more specific.” It's hilarious. I love all of the details that were able to be fit in. And just, “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Ethan.” It's great.

There are days when Manon wishes she lived close to her family. Closer to her little brother, Ethan. But over time, she’s come to terms that their lives may always be thousands of miles apart, with cultures and oceans in between them.

Manon: And it's just sort of nice to create special moments even when we're not together, which is a lot harder to do. Um, usually like you're either just like forwarding each other memes or you're on a call catching up on life. You're not like creating new memories and new moments and new things to… to bond over as easily. So I definitely think that… I really, I really enjoyed that.

Manon: And I think it's not just me and Ethan, it's also like, you know, Rachael, and my husband, like all four of us, 'cause all of us have really been into it since, you know, the day that Ethan pooped his pants, you know, it's just been like compounding on… on itself.

Manon: Um, especially now that the music is, is here and, and now having this song, um, yeah, we'll get on like group calls with the four of us to talk about this. It's nice.

Music: When you tell jokes, it evokes laughter on a film set, you’re always an excellent gaffer. You’ve got a girlfriend named Rachael, you’ve got a sister Manon. Life is good for you Ethan, you have got it going on. Oh yeah Ethan, obsessed with outer space…

We have it on good authority that Ethan is now, in fact, a podcast person.

If you want Matt Farley to write you a custom song, check out his site: moternmedia.com, that’s M-O-T-E-R-N media dot com slash custom dash songs. And if you want to hear Ethan’s song, it’s up on Spotify. We’ll include links to both of those in the show notes.

That story came from Hyperfixed. In each episode, listeners write in with problems big or small, and Alex solves them. Or at least, he tries to. Over there, he’s investigated a missing Bob’s Burgers episode, a stolen website, and the black market for pet medicine. It’s always quirky, relatable, and full of surprises. Follow Hyperfixed right here in your podcast player.

Twenty Thousand Hertz is produced by my sound agency, Defacto Sound. Hear more at Defacto Sound dot com, or by following Defacto Sound on Instagram.

Hyperfixed is produced by Amor Yates, Emma Courtland, and Sari Soffer Sukenik. This episode was edited by Megan Tan. It was engineered by Tony Williams. Music is by the mysterious Breakmaster Cylinder and me. Special thanks to Ethan’s girlfriend, Rachael, for recording and leading the Ethan song reveal at Ethan’s bar.

I’m Dallas Taylor, and you can also follow me around the world showing cool sound stories, find me on youtube, instagram, and tiktok under the moniker dallastaylor dot mp3. Thanks for listening.

[music out]

Music: Dallas! Dallas poop poop poop poop! Dallas! Dallas, Dallas poop, poop, poop!